You cannot be told that your child has autism, live that life for two years, and not be changed. It's kind of like taking a journey, having your car break down, spending a lot of time in a town you never intended to stay in, and then continuing on. No matter how long you spend in your ultimate destination, you'll always have the memories from your unintended visit. And that's how I feel about autism.
Today isn't just about spreading awareness of an enigmatic disability, it's not just about celebrating some of the most amazing people I've ever had the fortune to know, it's not just about lifting a torch of hope that someday all parents will be on the other side of autism, it's about being thankful. As much as I can respect the idea that taking autism away from a child would change who they are, I've never been a proponent of proclaiming I'm happy my child has these differences because that's what makes her special. I'm not happy that my child struggles to communicate, can't process simple language, still doesn't know which pronoun to use, hates fireworks because they are too loud, only drinks water, and can't stand to see colored tiles unsorted and stacked. I want her to continue to overcome the obstacles that have prevented the world from knowing all of the amazing thoughts she has trapped in her perfect little mind. Though our struggles are far from over, I am thankful today that I can no longer consider myself the parent of a child with autism. Hopefully someday, either through a cure, life-changing therapy, or situations similar to ours where autism turned out to be something else, many, many more parents will find themselves on this side of the spectrum as well.
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| Imma last fall, after we found out she was not autistic |
One year when I was teaching kindergarten, I had an amazing five year old in my class. I was told he had autism and I was given several strategies to use to help him learn. This child was extremely intelligent and had many gifts. For example, one day he walked in to my class, picked up a book and started reading it. Just out of the blue, overnight, he had suddenly synthesized all of the information I had taught him thus far and started reading. Amazing. He had aversions to loud noises, repetitive speech, language processing difficulties, and a strong need for a routine. At the end of the year, I was told he was being dismissed from special education because he wasn't autistic after all. I was shocked. He had so many characteristics that we usually associate with people on the autism spectrum. I'm not sure exactly what they determined was an appropriate diagnosis for my little friend but this was the first time I was faced with a misdiagnosis of autism. Thankfully for my family, it wasn't the last time. When I was told that Imma's evaluation showed she was not on the spectrum, I remembered this other child and I wondered if the feelings of relief I was experiencing had been the same for his mother.
The most important statement I could make to the parents of a special needs child is, "Don't ever give up hope." Keep hoping for breakthroughs, advancements, cures, more research, more funding. You just never know where hope can take you. The surefire way to stop your child's progress is to give up. The second we stop believing that our child will one day have a normal life is the day that dream dies. So never stop believing.
Imma is in the middle of another language explosion right now and it always makes me excited and reflective when this happens. She continues to make tremendous progress and I am so thankful for all of the people who work so hard for her. But most importantly, I am so happy that I was the one chosen to be her mother. She is an amazing blessing and she continues to teach me something new every single day. Today is a day to celebrate how far we've come and to look forward to a future where no one's label reads, "autistic."
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