T-Ball or Bust!

Imma had her first t-ball/softball practice yesterday and it went about as well as I had expected--which wasn't very well at all--but then, we did it and survived and now we can look forward to doing it again on Saturday.
For one thing, it was pretty cold and windy outside.  Practice was at 6:00PM and even though it was 85 degrees outside the day before, it was 50 degrees at practice. Lucy was very, very upset because she wanted to play ball, too, but she couldn't go out on the field.  Imma was very excited at first and wanted to play catch with her friends. The other girls were very kind to her and helping her and it was just great! Then, a little structured was introduced and it went downhill.

Imma at first base with one of her incredibly patient coaches.

At the beginning practice when she was having fun playing catch with the other girls.

As the sun went down, it got even colder.

Imma was paired with a super sweet little girl I know from our school and they were supposed to roll grounders to each other. Imma didn't understand and wanted to kick the dirt instead. The other little girl was trying so hard to be patient but she was frustrated by the end, and deservedly so. The coaches kept going over and trying to get Imma to do what she was supposed to, but she was not able to understand and ran off the field two or three times. Eventually, they switched to fielding the ball while the head coach batted and again, Imma was spinning, kicking the dirt, running away. Coaches came after her and the other girls would yell at her what to do, but Imma didn't get it. She was not happy, she wanted to go home and she had no idea how long she was going to be there or what, "We're almost done," really meant. She just kept yelling, "I want eggs!"  which I'm sure everyone thought was strange--why would a five year old want eggs so badly?--but she actually meant chocolate Easter eggs, which I had promised her if she would stay on the field.  That's really all I wanted from her was for her to stay on the field, and though I had to take her back twice, eventually, she did stay.
I did not tell any of the coaches about Imma's disability.  In a way, that may seem unfair to them but I am more concerned with her and how she may have been perceived.  I did not want anyone to have preconceived notions of what she can and cannot do.  There were a few times last night when I stopped myself from saying, "She has a language processing disorder," or even, "She has suspected autism," but I didn't say it. I think it would be a good idea to tell the coaches to use shorter phrases with her. Instead of, "Imma, come here. Look at the ball."  It needs to be, "Imma--here.  Look, ball!" Otherwise, she's not gonna get it.  Even then, she doesn't always get it but it is usually better.  If they ask me, I will be more than happy to tell them what her differences are but, generally speaking, when I tell people from the beginning that she is different, they don't give her the opportunity to try and see what she can do.
My goal for her is not to turn her into an All-Star softball player.  I want her to have fun, to get to know the other girls, to be "normal" and do what "normal" girls do.  When I was driving her to practice yesterday, I thought about all of the times we were going to therapy and I was wishing we were going to a team sport practice instead.  We finally were. No, it wasn't perfect--I didn't expect it to be and I'd be willing to bet it never will be.  But she did what I asked her to do. That's all that matters.
Her next practice is Saturday and I think Daddy is going to go with her and actually stay on the field with her. Lucy and I will go and cheer her on.  (Yes, I'm that loud mommy cheering for everyone.) Please pray that she understands more each time she goes, pray for patience for her coaches and teammates, and pray that she enjoys spending time with the other girls. We appreciate your prayers, well-wishes, support, and continued travel with us on this journey.  We can check off another box on our list of "normal things kids do!"

Perhaps We're Approaching Normal Enough

The last two years Imma has participated in the Special Olympics.  This year, she isn't eligible to participate. I absolutely love the Special Olympics.  I think it's a wonderful way for athletes to show what they are capable and that they are not limited or defined by their disabilities. I would, however, be lying if I said that it never bothered me to see my daughter in her Special Olympics t-shirt.  I wasn't embarrassed or anything like that, I was just sad.  It just seemed like another way my child was being labeled as different.  So, even though I love that we have a Special Olympics and I think it's amazing to see athletes come together and compete and cheer each other on, I'm not sad that my child wasn't eligible. And honestly, if we allowed children who are identified for special education only because of a speech disability to compete in the Special Olympics, doesn't that take away from many of the other athletes who have more limiting disabilities?  If you disagree, I'd love to hear your polite explanation as to why, but, in my opinion, students with speech disabilities are generally capable of participating in regular sporting events and shouldn't be allowed to participate in the Special Olympics and it's kind of sad for the other children that my daughter was allowed to participate for two years with a qualification of speech-only.  Of course, if you've read my story then you know that we had some made-up labels that also allowed her to compete, but you will have to go back in my blog history to read all about that!
Imma is actually going to play t-ball this year and she's been practicing.  She can hit the ball pretty well.  She doesn't bend her knees, she often puts the wrong hand on top of the bat, and she doesn't swing as hard as she probably needs to, but she can actually connect the bat to the ball and that's better than I can do most of the time. I'm pretty sure she'll forget where to run once she's in an actual game--or she'll skip to first base  like I used to--but she's going to be playing with other typically-developing children and I'm eager to see how she does.  I hope she has a coach with a lot of patients and a team that doesn't put a lot of pressure on her to do well!  She'll make mistakes like we all do but I think she'll have fun.  And I think she'll learn a lot.  I was once told she was not capable of observing other children and mimicking their actions so that she knows what she's supposed to do.  That is completely untrue and I think that her friends will help her understand what to do and that she will learn a lot from watching them.
I am excited for her to have the opportunity to be a part of a team and hopefully continue to grow some friendships. My dad always said that playing sports wasn't about competing in a game, it was about figuring out life--how to work together, how to be a leader, how to be a cheerleader, how to win and how to lose gracefully.  I want Imma to know all of those things. It warms my heart to see how well some of her classmates look out for her and help with everything from eating lunch to following directions. I want to see how that carries over to other areas of life.  And she's a good athlete, too! She's fast, strong, and a super climber, which doesn't help with t-ball but it does help with sports in general.
Spring will be here shortly and I can't help but think back to where we were a year ago. Imma was in the process of being kicked out of daycare. I was getting notes about her behavior from her teachers almost daily. I was at my wits end trying to figure out what to do with her.  We were driving for hours twice a week to get to speech and O/T and, while she was making progress, it was hard to see through all of the clutter.  Now, here we are a year later and, while we still have our struggles, she's come so far.  There are times when people are talking to her that I catch myself almost explaining to them that she's not able to understand them and I stop myself.  Let them figure it out for themselves--or not. Maybe they won't know.  Maybe she'll be "normal" enough. And that's all I really want for her at the end of the day--normal enough,  not the same as everyone else, but normal enough to get by. She may have lost a little bit of her "special"ness this year, but in a good way, in my opinion. There's a balance between special and normal and I guess that's what we are trying to find.