Why I'm Not Ashamed to Proclaim That I Love Thanksmas

This is the time of year when people start to divide a bit down the line of, "It's too early for Christmas!" and, "Let's put up the Christmas decorations!"  It seems that more and more people are starting to demand that we wait until after Thanksgiving to start celebrating Christmas.  They say that we are forgetting a holiday by putting up Christmas decorations or listening to Christmas music before turkey-day has ended.  If that is your opinion, then, you are certainly entitled to it.  I, however, tend to lean far to the other side.  In fact, November 1st has been known as Christmas Tree Day in my house since I first had my own house about 12 years ago. This is the day that I traditionally put up my Christmas decorations.  I'm sure that many of you have a scowl on your face or have just confirmed that I am, in fact, insane, and that's okay.  But if you keep reading, maybe you'll get a sense of my reasoning.  You may still disagree and I don't expect you to run to the attic to get out your tree, but I hope you will at least begin to understand why Thanksmas--that period of time between Halloween and the day after Thanksgiving--is a very important time to celebrate Christmas for me and my family.
I remember being in a Christmas play at church when I was little and one of the songs was called, "365 Days of Christmas Each Year." It was all about how we should always have the spirit of Christmas in our hearts.  I guess I have just taken that very literally. I feel like, if Christmas is truly "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" we may as well celebrate it as long as possible.  While I am willing to concede that Halloween can in no way be tied in with the other holidays, I feel that Thanksgiving and Christmas are so intertwined in meaning and sentiment that it is very easy to celebrate both of these holidays simultaneously.
I also feel that we have a tendency to focus on the "Thankful" part of Thanksgiving--which is a wonderful thing to focus on--and forget about the "Giving" part.  Christmas can help us balance that. If we are focused on giving during this time of year-while we are doing Christmas shopping and planning celebrations, chances are that we are going to have a lot more joy in our lives.  For the longest time, my favorite part of Christmas has been trying to figure out what I  can get my family members that will really shock and amaze them, make them feel like I really took some time to get them something meaningful.  That's the giving part of Thanksgiving crossing into the Christmas spirit.
I believe in magic, not in a "Harry Potter" kind of way but in a "miracle" sense, that we can truly bring magic into other people's lives through the way that we treat them, by the way that we encourage and support them. I'm so blessed to work in an environment where I get to connect with hundreds of precious children each day.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing a child react to me as if they believe my only purpose in entering the school that day was to visit with them.  There's magic in that.

Lucy last Christmas

And Christmas time is magical!  There's just something about this time of year that makes the world sparkle a little brighter.  I want that feeling everyday, not just for three weeks out of the year. If I can take it and stretch it into seven weeks, I'm all about that.
I love Christmas lights and decorations. If I could keep them up all year, I probably would.  Twinkling lights, snowmen, Santa Claus, I love it all. I want to look at my Christmas decorations for as long as I can.  I keep my manger out all year now, too, because it serves as a reminder not only of what Christmas is all about, but more importantly, what life is all about.  I believe Christmas keeps Christ at the forefront of our thoughts--mine anyway--in a way that nothing else does and if I am celebrating Christmas longer it's simply another way to make sure I am living for Christ.
I honestly feel like I am genetically inclined to love all things Christmas. My mom put up the Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving because, as she explained, my aunt would come for Thanksgiving and we would have our Christmas then. However, I honestly think she would have put it up early anyway because my mom loved Christmas almost as much as I do.  And I am using past-tense not because my mom is no longer with us but because she is in a different circumstance now where Christmas and life in general have changed for her.  If she was still the person I grew up with, I'm quite sure her Christmas tree would be going up in the next week, too.  My daughters both love Christmas as much as I do as well.  Lucy hasn't quite learned to express her obsession the way that Imma has but Imma and I are definitely of the same vein when it comes for demanding Christmas lights and decorations sooner rather than later.

One of my favorite pictures of Imma

So if you think it is silly and ridiculous to put up Christmas decorations this early, then don't do it.  But I will because I am carrying on a tradition that makes my family happy.  We will sit in our joyful home and enjoy our gorgeous, sparkling lights while others watch their pumpkins spoil and start to attract gnats. Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, so let me just say, to each his own!
Regardless of whether or not you put up your Christmas tree this week, after Thanksgiving, or not at all, I hope that you have a blessed and joyful November and that you prepare for turkey day in whatever way makes your family Thankful.

First Week of First Grade

The first week of school is over and everyone survived!  Imma actually had a really great week. I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure how it would be, getting back into the routine of things, but she did well, despite being very tired in the afternoon/evening, and getting herself into trouble at home--every, single day. As long as she is good at school, that's the most important thing, though I may pull out all of my hair!
We've been very blessed with Imma's teacher once again this year.  I taught with Ms. Medford for five years in our previous district and I was thrilled when she decided to make the long drive over to our current district.  She is an amazing educator and I know she's going to contribute so much to our district in so many ways.  Imma loves her and is always talking about Medford.  "When we wake up, I go to Medford's class!" I'm so glad she has a teacher that has known her for her entire life.  She knows where she's come from, she knows what her strengths and weaknesses are, and she knows what the vision is for where Imma will be one day.  She doesn't baby her, she challenges her in every area, but she also gives her the support she needs to be successful.  What more could a parent ask for?
Imma has several students in her classroom this year who are loving, giving children and they are helping her to make sure she knows what to do, which is awesome and amazing for first graders.  One of the little girls who helped her a lot last year told the teacher, "You know, I can help Imma, too!"  So cute!
Imma is also in a 1-1 iPad classroom, which means that she will have her own iPad to use during the day.  A lot of the projects they work on replace worksheets and other not-so-fun activities. The school district we live in has a lot of great technology available and it's awesome that first graders will get to have a piece of technology in their hands, at school, for educational reasons, every day.
We also purchased IStation for all of our K-2 students this year, which will help Imma a lot.  It's a computer based reading program.  She really enjoyed using it last year but we didn't have enough spots for her to be on it all of the time.  There was a rotating schedule for students who needed it.  This year, she'll get to use it all of the time.
Another awesome thing about our school is that we have a Student Resource Officer (SRO) strictly dedicated to our campus.  There are only 2 elementary schools in the state of Texas with a full-time police officer dedicated solely to their campus.  So we are super-safe and I no longer have to worrry about something awful happening at our campus, like Sandy Hook.  Officer Vargas is amazing and she does a lot of programs with our students during the day as well as keeping us safe. I honestly feel like this will be a huge incentive to parents looking to purchase a home near our school district. If I had a choice between a school with an SRO or without one, I'd absolutely choose the one with the officer!
Imma will have new speech teachers, new behavior specialists to observe her, and a teacher that is new to our district.  She still has the same special education teacher and the same diagnostician will be doing her evaluations this year, which will be in the next few months.  That always makes me nervous but I trust our diagnostician.  I'm hopeful that we will have some good information that shows how much progress Imma has made at the end of this eval cycle.
I've had a little change, too, which Imma and I are working through.  I will now be working out of Central Office on Fridays, so I won't be at our campus to help her with lunch, etc. She did fine yesterday and it definitely helps that so many of our staff members make a special effort to check on her (whether I'm there or not!) but it will be an adjustment for her.  Her teacher is great about watching out for her, even if I am at school, so I know she'll be safe, it's just going to be different not seeing her every day at school.  I think she'll do just fine though.  One day this week, I was a few minutes late heading to the cafeteria to check on her and there were three adults and two children helping her open her lunch!

I am expecting Imma to do very well this year.  I am hopeful that she will be reading by the end of the year, that she will continue to grow her friendships, that she will continue to make progress with her expressive and receptive language skills, and that she will continue to teach others that different means extraordinary.  She has touched so many people already with her strength, determination, and persistence.  Teachers and parents come up to me all the time and tell me how amazing her progress has been and that's always wonderful to hear.  Here's to what promises to be an amazing school year!

Imma and an awesome friend from last year who is also in Ms. Medford's class this year

Imma and Ms. Medford

She demanded that Daddy take a silly picture of her on the way out the door the first day

Being a sweet friend, pushing another boy on the swing

What a good friend!

5 Lessons I've Learned About the "A" Word

My heart is breaking for a dear friend of mine who is walking a path very similar to the one I am marching along.  Today was her culminating day, that day when the cold-hard truth slaps you in the face and says the word you've been dreading for months and years.  It is one thing to hear medical professionals, educators, and diagnosticians talk around the possibility that your child may have autism. It is quite another thing to see that word written on a piece of paper under your child's name--written in ink, in un-erasable, unforgettable, permanent ink.

Of course I know how my friend feels because I have gone down this road before.  I remember feeling sick to my stomach, angry, disheartened, deplorable, and hopeless.  As much as I wanted it to feel like a simple diagnosis, akin to "flu" or "near-sighted" it felt more like a death sentence, like my family was being destroyed and there was nothing I could do to ever regain the picture of happy-normalcy I had been dreaming about for so long.

I am now at least three years further down that road than my friend is and I have learned so much since then. I want to take this opportunity to share some of those lessons with her and with all of you who may be in similar circumstances where you feel hopeless and ready to give up.  There are so many reasons why you need to keep on marching. And here are a few.

1) Your child is the same beautiful person he or she was before the label.

Sometimes, labels make our lives easier.  Like, for example, when you are at the grocery store and you need to buy a can of corn.  Without labels, you could end up with green beans, carrots, or, God forbid, beets. But just as the label on the can of food cannot tell you exactly what is in that can, a label on a child doesn't tell you every single thing about that child.  Not all canned corn looks, tastes, or even feels the same. They are all different in some way, just as every child--special needs or otherwise--is different.  The day my daughter was officially labeled as "Autistic: Early Childhood Non-Categorized" she did not become a different person. She was still the same brilliant, moody, beautiful, silly, letter-loving child she was the day before.  She was suddenly eligible for a different type of education, which in many cases is a good thing.  But she wasn't any different.  In the case of education, having a diagnosis or an official "label" should be for programming purposes, not for identification.  Educators should never be grouping children together, implying that all autistic children are the same.  I have known dozens of children on the autism spectrum and while I have sometimes been able to understand certain behaviors or predict certain outcomes for one student because I am familiar with the habits and behaviors of others, I have never met any two autistic children that were remotely "the same," just as I have never met any other two children that are exactly the same. Likewise, we should never assume that the programming that works for one child will certainly work for another child simply because they have the same label. Just because a child is eligible for a certain program does not mean it will always be effective.  My own child is a very good example of how this is true.  She was eligible for a structured-teach or autism unit classroom but I knew that would not work for her and chose to put her in a regular general education classroom with inclusion and resource support,  which worked brilliantly for her.  So, while there are some instances where labels are necessary, as parents, we cannot allow them to define our children--not to educators, other parents, peers, and certainly not to us.  

My beautiful, extraordinary daughter, Imma-Jane

2. Wishing your child didn't have a label does not make you a bad parent.

Over the years, I have read lots of parents posts that say things like, "I'm so glad my son has autism because if he didn't, he wouldn't be the same wonderful child he is today."  If you truly feel that way about your child, then more power to you.  I don't judge anyone who  thinks that because they have every right to feel however they wish about their child.  I, on the other hand, hated autism every single second of every day that it was in my life.  I woke up every morning cursing the word and went to sleep every night literally praying for a miracle, that I would wake up the next day and my daughter would be normal. If you think that makes me a bad parent, that's okay.  You're allowed to think that.  But you see, I could hate the condition and not hate my child because, in my interpretation, they are two separate things. My child is the wonderful, brilliant, loving spirit that she is--and she was being horribly hindered by this ugly thing that was preventing her from truly experiencing life.  She was never going to be able to talk, to understand, to read, to have a meaningful friendship, to enjoy fireworks, to sit on Santa's lap--if she couldn't get away from this cursed condition. I didn't want to change who my child was, I wanted to break down the barriers and limitations that were impeding her. Now, three years later, after having learned that she was never truly autistic in the first place, I'm glad that I fought a hard battle against that label because if I had chosen to accept that she could not escape the clutches of that diagnosis, then she may very well have continued to spiral downward and further into the spectrum.  Please don't misunderstand--I am not at all saying that I believe all children on the spectrum have a lesser quality of life than other typically developing children.  I know many autistic children who have no problems functioning whatsoever and seem very much like their typically developed peers. But in my child's case, the differences she was demonstrating were hindering her quality of life and if we hadn't successfully found a therapy to help her, she would have continued to grow further away from her non-disabled peers.

The bottom line is, once your child has been diagnosed as having a disability, it is okay to grieve for your child. Not the child you have, but the child you thought you would have. If you don't allow yourself to go through the grieving process, you will never be able to fully move forward and help your child find ways of progressing.  And without you, your child will not make progress.

3. Special is Extraordinary

While there are many aspects of autism that make life incredibly difficult to navigate, it also has a way of making life extraordinary.  I know so many children with autism who also have remarkable gifts.  My own child, for example, can put puzzles together without even looking at the picture.  She just looks at the shape of the puzzle piece and can grab the right one out of the box and place it perfectly and effortlessly.  I had a kindergarten student who taught himself to read in a matter of days.  One day, he couldn't read.  The next day he was reading on a second or third grade-level.  This is called hyperlexia and there are many autistic children who have some form of this amazing skill.  Even when we are unable to detect the gifts these children have, whether it's because of limited communication or masking from some other disability, they are all precious, truly unique individuals.  It takes an incredible person to be able to recognize the strengths of children with limited or no communication skills and to be able to capitalize upon these strengths. These are the types of people we must be looking for when we select therapists, child-care providers, and educators for our children.  Though we now know Imma is not autistic, she does have sever language processing disorder.  Essentially, it is very similar to being in a foreign country where you only understand one out of every ten to twenty words.  Can you imagine living in this type of situation?  What if you went to work tomorrow, met your boss at your desk, and the only word you could understand was "computer"?  How would you do your job?  You sit down at lunch and the women next to you says, "Hi! Eat. Chair.  Dog." How would you have any idea that she really meant, "Hi!  What are you having to eat? Let me scoot my chair over.  I was just telling Jenny about my new dog."  That is every minute of every day for my baby. And yet, we are at the point now where she is actually fooling people!  When she meets someone new now, sometimes they don't even know that she has a disability! Try telling me my baby isn't extraordinary.  

As parents of children with special needs, we need to be ambassadors to everyone, spreading the word that special is extraordinary.  If we don't carry that mantra in our hearts and live it everyday, then people who aren't familiar with these amazing people we care so much about are never going to understand their journeys.

4. Autism is not a four letter word.

Even though I know the pain of seeing that word--or any label that represents a disability--associated with a loved one, I think it is imperative that we hold in our hearts that this word is not a definition and despite what I said before, it's not a curse.  I described how I felt about the word being associated with my own child so I know how difficult it is not to focus on the negative--I certainly dwelt in that land for too long. But the more we talk about autism, the more we focus on the gifts and the positive aspects of our children's character, the better the chances are that others will truly be able to understand the true nature of the disability.  Most people really don't understand that autism is a spectrum disorder, they have stereotypical images and thought about people on the spectrum. I've read a lot of ignorant comments on social media sites, drawn from misconceptions and inaccurate information.  Let's really start talking about autism spectrum disorder--and attention deficit disorder, and dyslexia, and language processing disorder, and everything else--so that more people will be informed and some of the misconceptions and fear will dissipate.  If we are afraid or ashamed to talk about the nature of our own child's differences, how can we expect those who do not live it and breathe it every day to talk about it intelligently?

5. Hope is never hopeless.

There's been a lot of talk recently about a certain celebrity giving "false hope" to parents of autistic children because she claims her child was "cured" of autism and, since there is no cure for autism, parents are being led astray.  I've read a lot of comments from well-meaning parents who firmly believe that we will never find a "cure" for autism and it is wrong to hope that children will ever be "normal."  And, while I rarely curse, I'm going to have to call BS on that one.  I say, if people want to hope, let them! How can anyone know if there will ever be a "cure" for autism or not?  We once thought there would never be a cure for AIDS and look how far we've come with that disease.  As long as parents are continuing to look for valid treatments for their children, finding ways to make progress, and fighting the good fight, then what harm can hope do anyone?  If we are looking at this purely from the perspective of having a child who was once diagnosed with autism who is now no longer diagnosed with autism, then I actually know more than one child (including my own) who fits into that category.  I am not saying that my child once had autism and now no longer does because I am of the opinion that my child was never actually on the spectrum to begin with, but she did have a label and now she doesn't. I also believe that, if my husband and I had not chosen to fight against the programming recommended for our daughter, she may very well have tested on the spectrum eventually because the therapy she was receiving had stopped working for her.  We were hopeful that we could find a new therapy that would help her learn how to communicate and socialize better so that she would no longer show signs of autism, and through that hope, we were able to make some changes that led to the result we had hoped for. Hence, hope can be a beautiful thing and I am of the opinion it is always helpful to be hopeful.

I do not pretend to know everything there is to know about parenting a special needs child but I do hope that others can learn from the experiences I have had. If even one parent reads this and feels a little bit better--a little more hopeful--for the future, then it was certainly worth the time and effort it took to write it. Please remember, Warrior Parents, you are not in this alone.  Just keep marching, keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually, you will look back at where you are today and think, "I can't believe how far we've come!" Your child is worth all of the time, energy, resources, money, exhaustion, anger, sadness, hopelessness, hopefulness, and love you've poured into him or her. If I am ahead of you on this journey, I am happy to pull you up to where I am in any way that I can. If someone is behind you, please turn around and show them the way because we cannot do this alone. God bless all of you as you travel this jagged and windy path and please let me know if I can be of any service at all.

When Daddy's Away, The Children Will Drive You Insane

I would like to begin this post with a shout-out to all of the single parents and stay-at-home parents out there.  I could never, ever do either of those things.
I love my children very much but Brian has been out of town for a few days (not coming back for a few more) and Mommy's gonna lose it soon. Right now, Lucy is on my foot saying, "I want some mimma cereal.  Cereal mimmas.  Ceral mimmas."  I don't know what that is  but I guarantee it is not one of the 47 types of cereal we have available. Imma is sitting on the floor using the iPod that is plugged into the wall. Right now she is just humming but every few minutes she will literally let out an earsplitting scream for no apparent reason.  NO APPARENT REASON. I say, "Stop screaming!" about 85 times a day. There's never a reason to scream.  Lucy is jumping on the bed, Imma is tackling the dog.  Where, oh where, is Daddy?
Why is it that, if I know that Brian will be home at 6:15, I can only survive until 6:15 but if I know he won't be home at all, I some how make it until 8:30 (blessed 8:30!) and bedtime? On days like today, I don't even notice 6:15. It is inconsequential. But 8:30 is magical!
And it's not that I don't love my children.  I absolutely do!  I can't imagine my life without them.  But I am not designed to spend all day with them--together. One on one, sure I can do that.  Just Imma?  No problem!  Lucy alone?  Got it!  Put them together in the same room with two dogs and a Christmas-song-playing-carousel that I am not allowed to turn off--I'm done after about 4 hours. And I'm proud of myself for being able to make it 4 hours.
And by done, I mean mentally and physically exhausted--not ready to abandon them and run into the woods behind my house (it's hot out there!) or get in my car and drive away (where would I go?) or lock them in the closet (they'd just yell louder). But it is a lot harder to be patient in hours 5 through 14 then it is in the first 4. (Boy, 14 hours sounds like a long time!)
Imma is using a children's golf club as a whip for her ride along toy and Lucy is asking me where her movie went.  What? What movie?  Why am I certain I will see the imprint of a golf club on Lucy's face soon?
My children are fairly well-behaved.  They don't break things or purposely trash the house.  They don't hit each other much and they aren't violent.  They like to scream.  They like to ignore me when I tell them not to scream.  and they like to argue.  A lot. Sometimes they argue over nothing.  Literally. The conversation starts with, "No it's not."  Followed by, "Yes it is."  What?  What are you talking about? No one knows. . . . And it doesn't matter because the argument would continue.
I am blessed to have two beautiful, intelligent, loving children.  And I am blessed to have time during the year to spend with them.  And I am blessed to have a job where I can go spend time with other people's children because I can handle them by the hundreds. But I always miss my children when I am away from them.  Just like childbirth, I forget about the pain and screams of nonsensical arguments and random dog-tackling.
When my husband returns from out-of-town trips, he no longer asks how the house got to be such a mess.  He is just happy to see that I am not completely bald and that the dogs have all of their legs.  Oh, Friday, where are you??

Shopping With Imma--and Earplugs

I know it sounds crazy, especially if you've been reading my blog from the very beginning, but there are times when I really wish Imma would just stop talking!  This after years of praying that she would start talking, doesn't make a lot of sense and probably seems ridiculous but it would only take about five minutes in the grocery store with Imma before you would understand.
With two kids and one cart, I often put Imma in the part of the cart where the groceries go, unless of course we are getting a lot of items. If she is inside, it's usually better, but if she is outside, she literally talks about every single item that she sees.  So, that's hundreds of items.  It goes a little like this:
"Mommy!  Look, it's cereal!  Look, Mommy, it's chocolate cereal. You see that, Mommy?  You see that?  It's chocolate cereal!"
"Yes, honey, I see it."
"It's chocolate cereal, Mommy.  We don't need that, Mommy.  We have that at home. Look, Mommy! It's fruit cereal!  Do you see that, Mommy?  Do you see it? It's cereal with fruit!"
"Yes, baby, I see it."
"We have that at home, Mommy.  We don't need it.  Look, Mommy, it's Poptarts! Do you see that, Mommy?  Do you see that Poptarts? It's red and purple and blue and chocolate.  Do you see that one Poptarts, Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetheart, I see it."
And now, she has a scripted phrase she likes to add in, which she has learned from asking me if we can buy apps for the iPad.  I can't purchase any apps for the iPad because it isn't mine, it's the schools.  I am just borrowing it. When she started asking me to buy apps, I would say things like, "No, honey. We can't buy anything for the iPad.  It's 2.99.  You can't get it if it's not free."  So, she started finding free ones, which I would occasionally add to the iPad for her.  Then I had to start telling her there wasn't enough room for new apps on the iPad.  So, now when we go to the store, people hear things like this:
"Look, Mommy! It's fruit snacks.  It's blue fruit snacks.  Do you see that, Mommy?  It's 2.99.  You can't get it if it's not free.  There' s not enough room for it. Look, Mommy! It's ice cream.  It's 3.99.  You can't get it if it's not free. There's not enough room for it."
I wonder what the other shoppers think about me denying my child any food item that isn't free and why my cupboard is so full that there's not enough room for fruit snacks.
In all seriousness, I am very thankful at all of the progress Imma has made, especially with her speech and her language processing.  Is it exhausting to hear her go on and on? Sure. But it beats the alternative of wondering if she would ever talk, ever understand what we were saying.  I have some friends who have children who are nonverbal so I am extremely grateful for all that Imma can say and do. If the problem that we have now is that we can't get her to be quiet, than I'll take it.  Still, if anyone would like to take her grocery shopping for entertainment purposes, she's quite the conversationalist.

Daddy's Birthday!

Yesterday was Brian's birthday.  The girls were so excited all day long!  They couldn't wait for him to get home so they could sing, "Happy Birthday" and eat cake, of course!
They helped me mix and frost his cake, which resulted in a lot of frosting on us as well.  The cake was Daddy's favorite--chocolate cake with chocolate frosting--and the girls asked me about 100 times when they could eat it. In the past, I've had a lot of trouble with round cakes. It seems like the "hump" on the bottom cake makes the top cake split in two and crumble apart.  It's been so bad in the past that we've actually taken to calling it, "Earthquake Cake."  But yesterday it worked out fine. And unfortunately, the only picture I have of the whole event is of the cake.

Brian's birthday cake.  Can you guess how old he is?  Imma said he was 8!

Brian got a few gifts, including a Bass Pro gift card because I have no idea what kind of tackle box to buy and a frozen lasagna, which is my version of cooking. Overall, I hope he had a nice time.  I know the girls loved baking the cake and singing happy birthday.  We are finally all done with birthdays for the next 8 months!  Which means I have about 6 months until I have to start planning the next Birthday Extravaganza! As much as I love parties, it's nice not to have to think about it for a while.
Of course, there's a couple of other little holidays I like to go all out for in between. Halloween decorations go up September 1st, people.  That gives me a little over a month . . . . And of course I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping.  You snooze, you lose (and what you lose is time, patience, and sanity in my case so I don't snooze!)  When do you start decorating for Halloween?  When do you start your Christmas shopping? What are you overly-obsessive about when it comes to planning and decorating?

Lucy's 3rd Birthday Celebration!

We celebrated Lucy turning three with several smaller parties--rather than one Birthday Extravaganza, as we did with Imma.  We went to Great Wolf Lodge, which both girls love, though Imma definitely appreciates the water more than Lucy does.

The girls really love the story time at Great Wolf Lodge.

We were able to stay in the Wolf Den again, which the girls love.

This is the "kid area" of our room.

On Lucy's actual birthday, we went to Old McDonald's for chicken mcnuggets and to play in the play area. We did cupcakes at home and she opened two presents from Mommy, Daddy, and Imma.  When she realized that the presents were wrapped in Cinderella paper, she had to take off the other princess dress she had on and switch to her Cinderella dress.  She got a Cinderella and Prince Charming set with a horse and a talking Cinderella doll. I'd gotten both of these items on clearance after Christmas so I was super proud of myself that I was able to keep them a secret from her for so long. She loved both of them, especially the talking Cinderalla.

Cinderella opening Cinderella.

She loves singing cards, too.

It was a Cinderella birthday but not a Cinderella birthday party.

On the Saturday after her birthday, we had some friends and family over for fishing, barbecue, and fireworks.  Lucy wanted a Sponge Bob birthday, much to my chagrin, and Daddy was in charge of getting the cake and decorations for her party.  He did a nice job. She really loved her cake and all of the Sponge Bob decor.  She had a great time with the friends that came over, including her second mommy, Amy, and her family, and her cousin Ella.  Two of her aunts were here and her "uncle" who isn't quite her uncle yet but will be someday soon, we think/hope. We also had some friends drive all the way from Prosper, which is almost an hour away.  Lucy really enjoyed the fireworks and Imma did better with them than usual.  She at least stood next to the door and peaked out at us, which is better than it has been in the past.

It took several tries to get the candles out but she did it.

Daddy moved the cake over a little closer.

She was so proud of herself when the candle finally went out!

Now that these birthday are over, I'm already starting to think about next year.  I'm considering doing a combined party for both girls again.  It always makes me sad that Lucy doesn't have many friends her age that come to her party.  I know it's probably because she isn't in school yet but I would like for her birthday party to include more play time for her with children her age. I just think it's hard for people to come during the summer, especially since her birthday is on a holiday weekend. But I also want them each to have their own special day.  What a dilemma!

Next birthday is Daddy's birthday.  I wonder if he wants a princess party or Care Bears . . . .

To My Little Princess on Her Third Birthday

Dear Lucy Kate Annabella,
Happy Birthday!  It is hard to fathom that you could be three years old already.  Every 4th of July I am reminded of that one a few years ago, the day we almost met you.  Instead, it was the morning of the 5th of July when you finally decided to make your appearance. You were worth the wait. From that day on, it became apparent we were going to do things Lucy's way.  And that's fine by me.

My little diva letting me know who's boss

There's no question that you are a little diva.  Your entourage consists of three blankets, two dolls, and usually another item or two that must go wherever you are. You're often the only little girl in a princess dress wherever we happen to be and I don't even realize now that other people may find this odd. If you want something, if someone hurts your feelings, if something doesn't go quiet the way you were hoping, everyone knows.  But we do our best to avoid that--not because you are spoiled but because you are so sweet. It is very difficult to see you cry.

Who could argue with that face?

You are patient and loving. You have an understanding with your sister beyond your years. It's so sweet to listen to you explain things or say things over and over until you think she understands. You copy her, you repeat her, you imitate her.  You love your sister in a way only sisters and best friends can understand.  This was my greatest wish in having two little girls and I love to hear you play together nicely. It doesn't always last a long time, you are both very strong-willed (don't know where you get that from!) and sometimes you get very upset at each other, but almost all siblings do that.  I hope that the two of you will have the kind of relationship nothing can ever come between.

Lucy wants to be just like Imma

I love to watch you dance.  I've been so proud of your accomplishments in dance class this year, but even more than that, the joy you show when you are dancing is beyond description. You love music and you naturally start moving to it as soon as you hear it.  I hope that you continue to dance and bring happiness to lots of others who get to experience watching you do so.  You also have the sweetest little singing voice and I love to listen to you singing to your animals and dolls over the monitor at bedtime.  It amazes me how well you know the words to so many songs.  It's even sweeter when you don't know the words so you just make them up.

My little dancing diva in her costume for her recital.  She owned that stage.

I love how you call the alphabet the "ABCD's." You love to look at books and find letters that you know.  You also like to count. I think you will love school and learning the way that I do and I can't wait to see all of the new things that you teach me.  You can handle an iPhone or an iPad like a boss.  Who knows what technology you will have by the time you're my age.  You'll certainly be able to figure anything out and maybe invent some of it, too.

Teacher Lucy?

I constantly worry about you because you are such a little klutz. You are always running into things, falling down, hitting your head. I often imagine wrapping you in bubble wrap with only your head sticking out--which would need a helmet, of course.  You're my Itty Bitty Girl and I have to protect you from everything dangerous, even if the danger is your own inability to judge whether or not your head is going to make it around the corner of a table. But you always dust yourself off and keep on going.

My beautiful baby

One of your greatest gifts is your ability to make other people smile.  It doesn't take others long to fall in love with you because you are just a sweet, beautiful child.  You reach out to others and make friends quickly.  Imma's friends love you so much, it's so nice to see all of you playing together.

Lucy playing with Imma and her friends at Imma's baseball party.

This year, you've gone to Great Wolf Lodge at least twice, maybe three times, and you love it, though you don't particularly like swimming. You've done dance with Ms. Lexi and swimming lessons with Ms. Williams.  You went to Education Station for a few months but we knew we'd found your second mommy when you started going to Ms. Amy's house.  You loved Disney World, especially meeting all of your fellow princesses and I loved taking you to meet them.  You loved the beach but not the ocean. You love the zoo and the aquarium because you love animals.  You tell me all the time how you see monkeys and owls in the trees.  You talk about your PawPaw everyday which makes me so happy because it encourages me that maybe you won't forget him.  You are my sunshine and you make me happy no matter what color the sky is.  It is a privilege and an honor to be your mother and I'm so blessed to have your sweet smile in my life. I love you so much, Princess Lucy Kate, and I hope your fourth year is as full of happiness, smiles, and little giggles as your third.
Love,
Monny

Lucy loves Rapunzel and the other princesses.

One of my favorite pics of Lu

Working that Tutu

Happy Birthday, Sweet Princess!

Ghosts and Goblins, Monsters and . . . Daddy

Lucy has a very creative imagination.  She tells me all the time that she see monkeys and owls in the trees (we do have owls but not usually during the middle of the afternoon), dolphins and whales in the pond, and she sees friends and family members in the hall or in her bedroom. I know she is usually pretending but when she started becoming scared to sleep in her bed, well, now I'm worried.
It started off with a lot of pointing towards the closet or the rocking chair and discussion of seeing someone there.  I know shadows play tricks.  I know she is creative. I know most little kids get scared of the dark.
Now, she won't go to bed without a blanket over her head.  Even for nap time, when it isn't dark.  If she's going to sleep, she't got a blanket over her head.

Is this what Lucy is afraid of?

I don't know if it is because of  an incident that happened a few weeks ago or if that is just a contributing factor or what.  The girls have been playing a game they call "ghost."  They make moaning noises and chase each other.  No big deal.  They were playing it the other day and Brian started talking to them over the baby monitor. It caught Lucy off-guard and made her extremely upset. It was around the same time that this fear of sleeping in her bed started.  We've explained that it was Daddy, she's seen how the monitor works and knows we can talk to her and that we can hear and see her.  It doesn't matter though, she's still very scared to go to bed.
I've gotten some great suggestions from friends, like use a Dreamlite or a nightlight.  Lucy has both and she  doesn't want them on.  I guess it's not that she's scared of the dark, per se, because she's napping in the daylight and still scared, she's just scared to go to sleep in her room.  I can identify with this because I was scared to go to sleep in my bed until I was about ten years old and even then I still had trouble from time to time. (I am not allowed to watch scary movies anymore since I saw The Ring and Ghost Ship and never fully recovered.) My mom used to let us watch semi-scary movies, like the original Clash of the Titans and I was petrified of Medusa and swore I saw her in every dark corner of our house.  I don't want my little girl to have to go through that trauma.  The feeling of not being able to close your eyes and go to sleep because you're sure something is watching you or is about to jump out and get you is one of the most uncomfortable experiences anyone can have.  The only thing that ever made me feel better was sleeping with my mom and even then it didn't always help.  What do y'all think? Is this just a passing phase or should I be genuinely concerned?  Any more suggestions on how to make her feel more comfortable? How many of you have gone through similar situations and what was the outcome? Imma has never been afraid of the dark or much of anything else so this is our first time experiencing this. Thanks in advance for your help!

Imma's Eyes Are Smiling

On Imma's birthday, I woke up with a crusty pink eye.  I was supposed to go to a training that day but obviously that wasn't happening.  I went to the eye doctor instead.  I remember telling him, "I'm a teacher so maybe that's how I got pink eye but I haven't been in school for a week, so I don't know!"
Well, it wasn't pink eye.  I had developed an ulcer in my eye.  He said I probably got an allergen, like grass or something like that, in my eye and since I sleep in my contacts (they are Night and Day so it's allowable!) it got irritated and caused an ulcer.  He said both of my eyes looked irritated. I was banned from my contacts for five days, had to take steroid/antibiotic drops several times a day, and was assured that it would be much better shortly as long as I did as I was told.  So I did--mostly.  I was on vacation so it was really hard to go to the beach with my glasses!  But I did my best and my eyes started feeling better pretty quickly.
Today, I had my follow up appointment and my "annual" eye exam. I used quotation marks because I honestly have not been to the eye doctor since Imma was about a week old. I know what you're thinking--why do your eyes get messed up in June?  Oh, you were wondering why I didn't go to the eye doctor!  Well, mostly because I usually end up getting yelled at for not going to the eye doctor.  I have literally never gone for a follow-up with the same eye doctor until now and I'm glad I did because this doctor is really great.  I may actually go back next year!
When I scheduled my follow-up appointment, I remembered that Imma had recently gotten a note from our school nurse saying she needed to have her eyes checked.  It's not too surprising, considering both Brian and I have had glasses or contacts most of our lives. So, I decided to take the little gal along with me.  It was easy enough to make that appointment two weeks ago, much harder to actually follow through with it today. She was very reluctant to go.  She kept telling me her eye wasn't hurt and she didn't need to see a doctor.  When she realized she was going--she started saying things like, "Okay but not for Imma.  For Mommy.  Mommy's eye is ouchy!"
I think it was helpful for her that she got to see my eye exam first and realized none of it hurt--though I hate the glaucoma test and almost refused myself (I said, "I didn't have glaucoma two weeks ago, what are the chances I have it now?") and Imma  actually refused to do that part and I don't blame her. She sat in the chair in the examination room while the doctor was examining my eyes and giving me the vision test making all sorts of silly observations.  "Mommy is in a rocket ship.  Mommy has two eyes.  It's ouchy!" She was very cute and very distracting but the doctor was able to work through her silliness and it turns out my vision is actually better now than it was 6 years ago.  I was asking how that was possible and he explained that it may have something to do with fluid and pressure in my eyes. I thought about it later and it would make sense that I would have a lot of fluid in my eyes and probably higher pressure since I had just had a baby the last time I went to the doctor.  My ulcer is all healed up, which is awesome and my eyes are great, except for a giant floater I have in my right eye.  I was definitely already aware of this. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it for now except for pray it goes away soon.
Next, it was Ms. Imma's turn. I didn't know if she was going to freak out or behave. I used to warn people in the doctor's position by saying, "She has autism."  People are fairly familiar with that term and, at the time, I was being told she did have autism.  But now that I know that she doesn't have autism, I have to say things like, "She has a language processing disorder so she might not understand everything you say and you might not understand everything she says."  This ended up being good enough and he was able to get her to do everything she needed to do.  She covered up one eye, read letters, looked at the light, etc. all like a trooper.  She even answered some of his questions and told him about the "webs" she played in at the beach.  It turns out Imma's vision is very good.  She was even able to read some of the letters on the 20/15 line. He said she might have a bit of astigmatism in one eye but that she will most likely grow out of this.  He said she didn't need glasses at all, which is awesome because I think glasses would last on Imma for a bout 15 minutes at best.
The second Imma walked out of the office and back into the lobby, she turned into a wild woman, running around and climbing on everything. I don't know if it was pint up nerves or excess energy but it was a huge contrast between how she behaved in the doctor's office and in the lobby.  I wish I had some sort of an idea what triggers these bursts of goofiness.
To celebrate Imma's success (okay, to fulfill the bribe I had made to get her out the door) we went to Braum's for ice cream. I wish I had pictures of her at the doctor's office but it seemed a little unusual to ask for pictures for my blog so the pictures of the ice cream will have to do!

Imma and her perfect eyes enjoying her ice cream

My beautiful girl

If you are local and you are looking for a good optometrist for your little ones, even if they are special needs, I do highly recommend Dr. Schmidlap at Rockwall Precision Eye Care. It's not what I would call a "kid's" eye doctor per se--no trains or fish tanks or animal posters--but he was really patient and calm with Imma  (and me for that matter!) and I think those are the qualities kids really need when they go to the doctor.  Sometimes all of the things we usually look for in a kid's medical practice can be over-stimulating and I think it helped Imma not to be distracted because she was in a "grown-up" setting.  She was a little disappointed when she realized she wasn't getting a lollipop but she got over it when I told her about the ice cream.
Next, we need to visit the dentist. . . .

A Play Date Saves the Day!

This morning, Lucy didn't get up until 9:30.  She almost never asks to go out to the pool but this morning she did.  Lots and lots of times.  I kept telling her no though because we had a play date scheduled for 12:00 and we were going to have to leave at 11:30, which means that we had to start getting ready to go somewhere around 10:00.  Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but considering I looked for Imma's shoes for 20 minutes and still never found them, if we are going to be on time, we have to forgo anything that may take an unpredictable amount of time, like swimming.
So, I ignored the whiny pleas from my little princess and told her no, we are going to Old MacDonald's (Imma speak for McDonald's) about 28 times.  We were sitting on the couch working on abcmouse.com when I heard a strange sound from the backyard. I ran to the window and got there just in time to see our brand new patio table shatter into a million gazillion pieces.  It's a little breezy here today and the umbrella was up, so I'm guessing it caught it just right and slammed it down on the glass.  I had no idea that could happen!  If we had been outside, the girls would have been in the pool right next to the table and I would have been sitting at the table.  Thank God we weren't out there and no one got hurt.
Of course, I'm not particularly happy that the table is destroyed and I'm hoping that the manufacturer or Lowe's or someone will at least replace it.  I know they make those stabilizer pieces for the bottom of the umbrella and we didn't have one on. Apparently, we needed one. I just thought that, if the directions said the  table could hold that size umbrella, it didn't mean with pieces you had to buy separately.  I don't really want another glass table after this but I also don't want to walk away empty handed after we spent so much on this one.  The frame is just fine and I'm thinking about the possibilities of putting a piece of butchers-block or some nice wood in it instead but I have no idea if I could do that or not.  I work with fabric and scissors, not wood and saws.  Anyone have any ideas?
When I went to clean it up, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The glass was almost all on the patio with very little in the grass so I was able to sweep most of it up.  There wan't any in the pool that I could see but I will definitely let Brian check that out before the girls get in it again. Imma stood by the back door the whole time I was working and asked me not to throw away the "ice" and begged to go into the pool, which I couldn't let her do.  At the end of the day, it's probably just a minor inconvenience, but it could have been a lot worse if we would have been outside or if the dogs would have been out there.
The girls did have fun with our friends at McDonald's.  I was so proud of how well Imma played with her friend and how well she was talking.  She explained that we went to the beach and then we had to go to the airport to come home.  She was using his name and played with him in the play area, which is great for her because she has so much trouble remembering everyone's name and usually prefers to play by herself.  Lucy was the only child dressed like a Disney Princess in the play area so it was easy to keep an eye on her. When you're child is dressed like Cinderella, it's pretty hard to lose track of her and you can just ask the other parents, "Does anyone know where Cinderella is?" No descriptions required.
Hopefully, we will get this little patio table thingy squared away and get it replaced before we have anyone over because it would be a lot easier to cook-out with a table in the backyard!

The shattered remains of the patio table

Who would have thought you could fit that whole table into one little trash can?

Amelia Island Plantation Vacation

Brian and I first visited Amelia Island in 2006, before we had kids. We had a great time. Beautiful beaches, dolphin cruises, horseback riding, forts to explore, and a small town feel that isn't completely over-taken with tourists.
Right after Lucy was born, we visited again.  Imma has always loved the beach and we were so looking forward to spending time with her in the sand.  Unfortunately, she didn't get to see much of the waves because she was violently ill the entire trip.  It's the sickest our little girl has ever been.  That trip was a bit of a bust but we stayed at the Amelia Island Plantation and had a gorgeous view of the ocean.
When planning our vacation this year, we considered several locations but we ultimately decided to go back to Amelia Island Plantation.  Thankfully, no one was sick this time. Though we did end up spending the night in Houston because of a mechanical problem with our plane out of Jacksonville which caused us to miss our connection, ( and Brian's bag also spent some extra time in Houston!) we had a lovely trip. I would highly recommend Amelia Island Plantation to any family looking for a beautiful, peaceful beach with just the right mix of touristy/private sightseeing.

This was my neighbor on the plane.  She was a little hyper.

And the little girl sitting in front of me kept sticking her head through to say, "Hi!"

The view from our room in the Ship Watch Villas.

Master bedroom

The girl's room

We always visit this pirate statue downtown .

And the giant anchor.

We went on a dolphin cruise and saw lots of dolphins. . . and some princesses.

Lucy is on the look out for wildlife!

Imma really didn't want to go on the cruise, which is odd because she usually loves boats.

Keeping Rapunzel out of the water.

Part of Dungenous, the Carnegie plantation on Cumberland Island, Georgia.

Wild horses in front of the remains of the main house.

More of the amazing wild horses.

I would love to visit Cumberland Island some day.

Lucy Carnegie built houses for all 9 of her children on this island and  JFK Jr. was married here.

Amelia Island Plantation also has a wildlife refuge.

We went back to the main Omni hotel for lunch.  Lucy was not in the best mood.

Imma was all smiles!

We waited for Daddy to go get the car and Lucy put on quite the show for the people working at the front desk.  She was dancing away!

One night we ate dinner at the Falcon's Nest. Strangest eating arrangement ever.  I literally couldn't talk to Brian because he was soooo far away on the other side of the table.

Hello, over there!

One of the reasons we love Amelia Island is because we love lighthouses.  This one sits in the middle of town and isn't really accessible.  But we always stop by to see it from afar.

We visited the Jacksonville Zoo and they had lots of wildlife roaming around , particularly birds, like this guy.

Lucy checking out the giraffes.

These elephants were not real but Lucy really wanted to ride them!

Daddy went for a ride on the trunk!

The girls' favorite part of the zoo was the train ride!

We really were lucky that all of our problems happened on the way home and not on the way there so they didn't mess up our vacation plans.  Nevertheless, with all of the challenges of getting two little girls and myself through TSA without anyone being violated, I am seriously looking into the possibilities of either buying our own plane soon or at least getting in on a partnership. When your husband is a pilot, you may as well take advantage of that if you can and avoid the frustrations of the airport, if possible.  That's my theory anyway.  We'll have to look into the feasibility of that but I worry about the girls every single time we have to go through security because I've heard too many horror stories of little kids being traumatized.  

We had an amazing trip and I would definitely recommend Amelia Island to anyone looking for a fun family vacation spot that's off the beaten path but easily accessible.